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2018 was a BIG year!

Two huge dreams came true:

Becoming a full time teacher
Making my dream flute a reality (I’m still in disbelief.)

Another big moment was getting the opportunity to teach a master class as a guest artist for the Texas Flute Society, along with presenting my own workshop for the first time: Effortless Playing Through Self-Awareness.

With so many big changes came a lot of big challenges, especially…

adapting to a completely different lifestyle and schedule (and a lot more driving).
pausing to re-learn a new instrument after 12 years of adapting to one that’s very different.
dealing with imposter syndrome.

After reading last year’s review, I was reminded that after last year, I felt that I had finally reached the top of the rut I’d been in and was able to see out.

It wouldn’t have been possible for me to handle these things last year, I wouldn’t have been ready!

I can say with certainty that I feel more resilient now, and I’ve been able to work through these challenges with a lot more self-compassion that I might’ve in the past.

This year brought heartache, too. An unexpected loss for my family taught me that you never know what can happen, so you have to live wide open and go for the big dreams no matter what.

What I Learned:

I learned to be more self-forgiving and stopped being so hard on myself because I deserve self-compassion no matter what’s going on around me.
I learned what motivation really is, and how empowering it is to take action when you don’t feel like it.
I learned how to enjoy what is uncomfortable and challenging, and a whole lot about self-trust.
I learned to be more self-aware outside the practice room - monitoring my thoughts and energy and finding calm and freedom a lot faster. (Especially while driving alone, when my thoughts are free to roam!)
I became a much better practicer. Last year was all about improving a little bit each day - this year, I really leaned into enjoy practicing and found myself luxuriating in it more!

2019 Goals:

Fail More
I could’ve failed a lot more.
I faced formal rejection maybe 3 times, and I learned that I’m less afraid of failing than I am of succeeding.
With greater resilience this year, I can rack up more failures and take more risks!
be deliberate
I learned a lot about what it means to be deliberate this year, especially with practicing thanks to the Mind Over Finger Podcast + Modacity App Practice Challenge!
I have TONS of choices every day, and I have the power to choose exactly what will fulfill me and inspire those around me - or not.
I can use intentions to be deliberate in the practice room, but especially outside the practice room.
I also have a renewed sense of self-trust, and can move forward without paralyzing fear.
protect My Energy

I get to choose what gets my attention, and I have the power to remove my attention from anything that doesn’t serve me.

So this coming year, I can continue to utilize that power to respect my own energy.

I have a better developed sense of mindfulness, and I can choose to be in the moment. In the moment, I’m alone in a peaceful room, and I’m enough.

In my head and on my screen, I’m in a loud world full of others’ energy. I can continue to do more to separate the two and lessen the mental clutter.